Humans are social creatures and some very important aspects of the human experience are the relationships that we develop. Think about the different groups in your life of which you are a part. Do you have a circle of friends who provide support and enjoyment? Do you have a group of coworkers with whom you have developed relationships and appreciate spending time with? Have you ever been part of an athletic or educational team? What about a social media group based on your interests?

Maybe you have made long-lasting connections and bonds with people that you met during your time in a group or maybe you felt a sense of community and belonging after getting to know your fellow group members. We are all aware that entering a group of individuals we don’t know can be intimidating at first, but in considering these examples, I think we can safely say that there are some major benefits as well.

Now, imagine combining the positive aspects of being part of a group with the impact of a genuine therapeutic experience. Group therapy typically consists of three or more individuals being led by one to two clinicians. Many groups are designed to target a specific concern, while others may focus on a particular modality of treatment to target several different concerns. Groups can be an excellent supplement to individual therapy, as they provide several benefits that individual therapy does not offer.

• Group therapy creates a support network of individuals experiencing similar concerns. It is always validating to know that you are not alone in your struggles. Attending a group that is focused on a specific concern of yours can allow you to feel a sense of support and to show you what different stages of recovery look like.
• Group therapy allows you to not only receive but also to give support. Have you ever heard the saying “the best way to learn is to teach”? Group therapy provides the opportunity to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective in order to give others who have similar struggles feedback, which in turn can be helpful in re-framing your own thoughts and emotions about a situation.
• Group therapy helps in the development of social and communication skills. Group therapy provides a safe space for you to express your thoughts and opinions about a variety of topics. This can provide a good way to practice navigating differences in opinion with others in the group setting.
• Group therapy aids in improving self-awareness. Hearing others talk about situations and concerns that are relevant to you can encourage reflection about the ways in which you handle similar situations and promote growth when relevant.
• Group therapy can provide you with several perspectives. There is not any one right answer for everyone when it comes to mental health. Being part of a group gives you access to the ideas of several people who have been in your shoes. Maybe someone has an idea for targeting an unhelpful thought or behavior that you have never thought of. It can be helpful to hear a lot of different thoughts on one situation in order to avoid getting stuck in the same pattern of thinking repeatedly.

Whether you are a seasoned group attendee, or you have never attended a group before, joining a new therapeutic group always offers fresh opportunities and experiences. Give it a shot – you never know what you might learn about yourself and those around you!

Lauren Francis, MA is the therapeutic office assistant at Chrysalis Center. Lauren assists in administrative duties, facilitates groups, and ensures authorizations for IOP are in place with insurance companies. Chrysalis Center offers multiple outpatient groups. To learn more about our groups, or to sign up, contact our office at (910) 790-9500 to find out which group may be the perfect fit for you!

Every day we are bombarded with media messages about how to look, how to act, and how to feel. People often compare themselves to these media images and beauty standards and assume that it’s not only ideal, but also achievable. However, this doesn’t take into account that these images are often altered or distorted. Countless studies have found that these media messages impact how we feel about ourselves and can lead to a negative body image.

What is negative body image? It’s the negative thoughts and feelings one may experience related to one’s body. It is a negative perception of one’s self due to a perceived inconsistency between one’s actual and ideal body. A negative body image can lead to serious negative effects including eating disorders, depression, anxiety and an overall lower quality of life.

One way to begin shifting the critical, negative voice towards kindness and appreciation is through compassion. Self-compassion can help promote a more positive body image. It allows a space for kindness and understanding towards ourselves and a recognition that our flaws are part of a shared human experience. It also helps us build a connection to how we are feeling without the need for judgment or criticism.

6 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion to Cultivate a More Positive Body Image:

• Practice mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help us recognize our thoughts and feelings without judging or criticizing. It can also be used to practice more intuitive eating. You can try a guided meditation, take a nature walk, practice paced breathing, or whatever mindfulness practice resonates with you.
• Change your perspective: Try imaging how you would speak to a friend who was struggling with negative thoughts. What would you say to them? Can you try saying this to yourself as well?
• Appreciation: Instead of focusing on what your body is not, or what it can’t do – change that focus to appreciate what it CAN DO. This can be especially helpful if you have specific areas of your body that bring you negative thoughts. For example, if I have the thought, “I hate my legs” then I could focus on what I appreciate about them “I love that my legs allow me to dance.”
• Top 10: Keep a top 10 list of what you like about yourself. It doesn’t have to be related to how you look! When negative body image pops up, pull out your list.
• Kindness: Do something nice for yourself to show your body you appreciate all it does! Take a bubble bath, get a massage, take a walk, find a peaceful place to read, etc.
• Reset: Take a look at your social media accounts. If you follow people or accounts who impact your body image negatively, think about if you really need to follow that account. Or take a social media break! Get rid of those apps that have you feeling worse! Instead, surround yourself with more positive, supportive social messaging.

Kaitlyn Patterson, MA, LPA is a licensed psychological associate who treats clients individually and through groups at Chrysalis Center. Kaitlyn’s clinical interests include eating disorders, substance use, and mood disorders. 

The Heart.  We can love deeply from the bottom of it or experience breath-taking heartache.  We follow our heart. Our home is where the heart is. It beats, it can bleed, it can palpitate, it endures happiness & sadness.  It communicates with our brain via > 40,000 neurons that sense, feel, learn and remember.  But how do we take care of this extraordinary organ, literally?

The CDC predicts an alarming one in four people will die from heart disease this year and estimates that someone has a heart attack every 43 seconds in the US.  Every 90 seconds someone dies from a heart related disease making it the leading cause of death in the world.  It is estimated that over 80 million in the US suffer with some form of heart disease.  Inflammation, infections, poor immunity, obesity, diabetes, over-eating, hypertension, physical & emotional stress are primary contributors to heart disease.  I come with good news, heart disease CAN be prevented with a little love.

One way to love your heart is by finding creative ways to incorporate bitter flavors into meal planning; this flavor strengthens the heart, improves immunity and digestion.  Some suggestions include eating kale, parsley, broccoli, brussel sprouts, arugula, endive, artichoke, rosemary, ginger, pure cocao, citrus fruit or dandelion.  Yes, I’m referring to that pesky super-food weed in our backyard.  If munching on this isn’t appealing, try brewing a cup of dandelion tea.

There are an array of foods that make the heart happy and prevent disease. Garlic lowers blood pressure, reduces LDL & triglycerides and prevents infection. Wild blueberries, pomegranate seeds & cranberries prevent oxidation, improve immune function, ward off built up of plaque & preserve capillaries. Wild salmon reduces clotting & inflammation while improving mood & energy levels.   Ironically, numerous red foods that may even mimic the appearance of the heart play a role in heart health, these include: tart cherries, tomatoes, strawberries, beets, kidney beans, red lentils, red potatoes, apples & watermelon.

Loading the heart up with lots of sugary treats can promote inflammation and decrease immunity so this Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to love your own heart and your loved ones in a creative yet healthful way.  Nourish the heart with a scrumptious healthy meal, a little dark chocolate for dessert and indulge in some sweetness by doing things that make you happy, connect with your community, hug people, have a heart to heart conversation,  take a walk in the sunshine, hold hands, forgive, listen with compassion and find gratitude.

Love your heart and it will take good care of you for a long time!

We all grow up with an idea of how life is going to look, imagining our career path, choice of a life partner, whether or not we will be parents, how we will spend our golden years, etc….Rarely does anyone include chronic pain or illness into this view of their potential future. No one wakes up one day and says, “I sure hope I spend the rest of my life feeling sick or being in pain.” However, for many people, this becomes their reality. If you have experienced this in your own life, you know all too well how isolating and lonely it can feel. You know the depression, the anger, the resentment, the jealousy, the guilt, and the fear that frequently accompanies an often unexpected journey. Whether you were born with your condition, developed it after an accident or medical issue, or simply woke up with symptoms one day, it can feel tremendously unfair. Maybe you look “normal” on the outside, and you find yourself confronted with doubting questions or insensitive remarks. Maybe sometimes you find yourself wishing you looked as sick as you felt because then it might actually be validated by those around you.

If you can relate to any of the above, please know you are not alone. Whether you struggle with chronic migraines, a metabolic condition, an autoimmune disorder, cancer, joint pain, a physical limitation, or some other condition, the emotional effects are experienced daily by countless others. Becoming chronically ill can be exhausting, both physically and mentally. The life trajectory you thought you were experiencing has drastically shifted, and it may feel like you have lost your purpose. Maybe you have had to give up a career that gave you meaning or an activity you loved. Maybe you have lost members of your support system because they didn’t understand or couldn’t deal with it all. Maybe you’ve been dismissed as “crazy” by family, friends, or medical professionals. Whatever your experience, it is valid. It can be helpful to develop support from others who are navigating similar paths. Sharing your stories and experiences can help to instill hope and purpose in a life that has seemingly gone off course.

While support from others can be immensely helpful in the journey to acceptance and the creation of a new life purpose, we do have to be careful not to slip into the land of self pity and victimization. While you may have been a victim at one point, you don’t have to remain a victim. This is where a supportive therapy group can be beneficial. You can gain support from others who intimately understand the experience of chronic pain and illness, but in an environment that is guided through a purpose. Whether your pain is a temporary or permanent reality for you, it doesn’t have to define you.

A new group “Purpose through Pain” is designed to provide support, but also direction as you navigate through the developmental process of creating the new you. It will encourage grieving the loss of your former self, addressing physical limitations and challenges, acknowledging the emotional aftermath, and letting go of the fear that often comes with medical uncertainty. It will also touch on becoming your own advocate, maneuvering through social challenges and awkwardness, and ultimately creating a new identity and purpose.

I feel passionately about providing a supportive and educational environment where group members feel safe to be vulnerable as part of the process of gaining their strength. This group is about being validated, while also being encouraged to be an active participant in your medical treatment and life.  We will also address cognitive shifts that can be monumental in coping with pain, as well as behavioral techniques that can be beneficial. Research shows that much of our pain is experienced within the brain. There is more and more work being done that is encouraging in that it gives chronic pain sufferers a little bit of control over their symptoms. While relaxation strategies and neural re-training are not miracles in that they don’t make you the person you were prior to injury or illness, they are showing marked results in peoples’ experiences with pain. Any little bit can help. If learning how to calm down the fear response resulted in your amygdala firing off fewer pain signals, wouldn’t that be a good thing? It’s certainly worth a try! I encourage healthy skepticism, but also an open mind.

Change happens when we are willing to ask tough questions, but also when we are open minded to the process of growth. If you have been living in a chronic state of pain or illness, I encourage you to give our office a call. I would love to chat with you about your experience and whether or not this group may be a good option for you. There is also the option of individual counseling in the event that a group setting isn’t something you are comfortable with at this time. Regardless, there is help out there, and you do not have to live in your pain. I look forward to talking with you and assisting you on your journey as you find new purpose through your pain!

Kelly Lehman, M.Ed., LPC is a professional counselor who specializes in helping clients navigate the journey of chronic pain, chronic illness, and medical trauma. If you are interested in this group or scheduling an individual appointment, call our office at (910) 790-9500 or email administration@chrysaliscenter-nc.com.

Lizzie Briasco, RD, CSSD, LDN shares some tips on how to approach the holiday season.

November is National Diabetes Month – making it the perfect time to set the record straight about CARBS.

Carb-phobia came in like a wrecking ball replacing the previous diet monster fat-phobia. No wonder this is confusing, modern science can drive you crazy with conflicting messages.

Did you know someone in the world dies from complications associated with diabetes every 10 seconds?  Diabetes is one of the top ten leading causes of U.S. deaths. One out of ten health care dollars is attributed to diabetes. We need to take this seriously. Diabetes is a condition where the body either does not produce, or cannot properly use, insulin.

For thousands of years, grains have been healthfully eaten by much of the world’s populations, including diabetics. Getting healthy is never about deprivation; the secret is not in elimination but quality and moderation.  Traditional whole grains and quality carbs contribute to a good night’s sleep, create a balanced feeling in the body, reduce inflammation, satisfy hunger, improve digestion & promote smooth bowel movements, improve mental clarity & cognitive functioning, support metabolism, and help regulate blood sugar levels. Yes, you heard me, eating high quality carbohydrates in moderation actually helps regulate blood sugar levels.  American eating habits tend to include over-indulging in large portions of highly refined sugar carbs. But, this doesn’t make all carbs bad.

Here are some things you can do to help manage or heal your diabetes:

Limit the amount and frequency of consuming sugary treats (such as cakes, candies and soda).
Eat plenty of vegetables, legumes, whole grains; these foods are rich in fiber which helps regulate blood sugar levels (such as  beans, lentils, carrots, cabbage, parsnip, sweet potato, squash, popcorn, leafy greens, whole grain breads, barley, quinoa, oats, polenta, and wild rice).
Drink primarily water.
Do something active everyday.
Eat fermented foods to help support and rebuild gut health.
Chew your food well, digestion begins in the mouth.
Reduce stress.

Do you want to learn more about the best foods to nourish the body if you have diabetes? Schedule an appointment with one of our dietitians who can help you learn to love and respect your body with real food.

Chaundra Evans, RD, LDN, CEDRD-S is a certified eating disorder registered dietitian and recognized by the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals as an expert dietitian who can supervise other dietitians pursuing the credential. Additionally, Chaundra is certified in adult weight management and a member of the American Society of Metabolic and Baratric Surgery. 

The parental loss of a child is devastating and widely considered the most tragic type of loss. But less commonly talked about is the loss of a baby, during or after pregnancy – an incredibly painful experience that can often lead to complicated grief. Today, October 15^th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – a day to honor the lives of those lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and during infancy.

About 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and stillbirth occurs in about 1 in 100 pregnancies. Each year in the United States., about 2,500 infants die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (known as SIDS), and in 2017, the rate of infant mortality was 5.8 deaths per 1,000 live births.

Many factors complicate the grief process for these heartbreaking losses, including:

• The sudden, unexpected nature of the death, leaving little or no time to mentally prepare
• The absence of a definite cause in some cases, which often leads to guilt
• The involvement of the legal system in cases of sudden infant death, which can add significant stress and trauma
• The impact on siblings (older siblings who resented the arrival of the new baby tend to feel guilt and remorse)
• Intense strain on a marriage or relationship, often involving tension, communication breakdowns, and anger
• Fear of having (or trying to have) another child
• Denial
• Feeling that the loss is socially-negated (common with miscarriages; a woman may have not announced her pregnancy yet, and she may feel shame and isolation in a society that prioritizes motherhood)
• Self-blame or blaming the other parent/one’s partner
• Loss of expectations, hopes, and dreams for the child’s future – “the family grieves as much for what they might have had as for what they’ve lost” (Worden, 2009).

While each situation is different and everyone grieves differently, it’s so important for parents who suffer pregnancy or infant loss to have a space in which to share about their grief, where they can feel heard, held, validated, and supported. Individual grief counseling can be a good place to start, and joining a support group for parents with similar losses can be immensely helpful.

Additionally, finding ways to memorialize one’s child can be therapeutic and healing. This may include:

• Naming your baby
• Having a memorial and/or funeral service
• Lighting a candle or planting a tree in their honor
• Writing a poem or letter to your baby
• Establishing rituals to pay remembrance to your baby during holidays and special occasions, such as putting an ornament on the tree each year for them
• Creating a collection of items related to them, such as pictures, footprints, a lock of hair, sonograms, cards received from friends

What bereaved parents need others to know is that while their babies’ lives were short, they mattered, and they always will. Mothers who suffer miscarriages are mothers. Babies gone too soon have made a forever impact on those who love them and carry out their legacy. Today, let us hold their memories and their parents in our hearts and thoughts.

Resources:

http://nationalshare.org/

http://unspokengrief.com/

Local: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thehopeproject910/?fref=nf

Source:

Worden, J. William. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: a Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Springer Publishing Company, LLC, 2018.

Emily Lockamy, MA, LPC is a licensed professional counselor at Chrysalis Center who specializes in grief counseling. 

If you are worried about someone and think they may be suicidal, the most important thing is to take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It is a cry for help, and we want more people to talk about it when they are feeling that way. We can all help reduce the stigmas surrounding mental health and getting help, and talking through it is the first step.

There are several other warning signs we need to pay attention to:

• hopelessness – they may see nothing to look forward to
• seeking out means of killing themselves
• talking or writing a lot about death or dying
• abrupt mood swings
• extreme personality changes
• big changes in the way someone eats, sleeps, or takes care of themselves
• self-loathing or self-hatred
• making a will, giving away prized possessions, etc.
• saying goodbye
• withdrawing from their social support network
• self-destructive behavior
• a sudden change to being extremely calm and happy after a period of depression

There are several other complicating factors:

• depression
• recent loss or stressful live event
• previous attempts
• family history – of suicide attempts, depression, or trauma
• substance use
• social isolation and loneliness

If you are worried about yourself or someone you love, speak up – anyone who talks about it needs help, the sooner the better, so don’t wait. It can be very difficult, but the best thing to do is ask if you have any concerns at all. You will NOT make someone suicidal or give them ideas by asking about it. The first step is to talk about it.

Remind them they are not alone, that you care about them, and that their life is important to you. Listening and being there, taking them seriously, can help more than you realize. If you are concerned about them, they will hear that in your voice and see it in your manner and that will make a positive impact.

The next step is to respond to the crisis. Do not promise that you will keep it to yourself, try to fix them, blame yourself, judge them, or argue with them. Just be yourself and express your concern. There are resources links on this page that you can access, but it is important to get them help as soon as possible. Help them make a plan for how they will address the crisis they are in and make the changes that they want to make to improve their mental health.

The third step is to offer your help and support – not only in that moment, but for the foreseeable future. When they commit to getting better, they will need your ongoing assistance. You are part of their support, and you are encouraged to follow up with them to see if they went to the therapist appointment you made together, talked to their family, or made other changes. They will need support for the long haul, and you care about them.

This is just a very brief overview. Suicidal feelings can be very complex and take time to work through. It is always a good idea to get more information and education about the issues that plague you and your loved ones.

For more information and links about suicide prevention and what to do:

https://www.who.int/news-room/events/detail/2019/10/10/default-calendar/world-mental-health-day-2019-focus-on-suicide-prevention

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Kendra Wilson, MSW, LCSW, CEDS-S, DBT-C is a licensed clinical social worker certified as an eating disorder specialist and a DBT specialist. Kendra is the Clinical Director of our Intensive Outpatient Program for eating disorders.