Many people can struggle with motivation when trying to initiate changes in their lives.  All of us are familiar with the failure of New Year’s Resolutions where we commit to make a certain change in the coming year-only to lose this energy after a few weeks.

Below are five things to know about Motivation that may help you initiate and maintain motivation with making desired changes in your life:

“What’s your motivation?” by opensourceway is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit


  1. Do not rely upon emotion as a motivator. Emotions are fleeting thus your level of motivation will also be fleeting.
  2. Set specific SMART goals-Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.
  3. Start small to create an “easy-in” and a sense of accomplishment.
  4. Pay attention to rationalizations in your thinking. We often rationalize reasons to not follow through.  Do not talk yourself out of what you know you want to do.
  5. Create motivating thoughts. Remind yourself of why you want to make this change and what you want to accomplish with this change. Imagine success and what that will feel like.


“People are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.” Epictitus.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare.

One of the key ingredients to living well is thinking well.  Our perspectives about ourselves, others and life in general will influence what we feel and what we do.  Our perspectives are our lens to the world.  This lens is shaped by our life experiences-which in turn shapes how we experience life.  All of us has a different lens to the world which will impact our experience of the world.

Issues with our experience of life however may occur due to distortions in this lens. These distortions may skew how we view ourselves, others and life. At times, we may not view things in a healthy, realistic or accurate manner due to these distortions.  In many of these cases, this may result in unhealthy emotions and/or behaviors.  Every emotion has a central core element that should be identified if you are experiencing unhealthy emotions-these are summarized below:

Anxiety=fear of a certain outcome occurring

Anger=the perceived violation of expectations

Depression=perceiving ourselves as hopeless, helpless and worthless as well as perceiving others and life in an unfounded negative manner.

To overcome unhealthy emotions and/or behaviors, it is important to reflect upon our perspectives.  We need to step back and objectively evaluate how we are thinking about things in our life. We need to identify any possible distortions on our lenses that may be creating our negative experience of life.  Once these have been identified, it is not effective to simply focus on “not thinking about it.”  It is important to identify healthier, more realistic or more accurate ways of viewing your world.

If you would like assistance with exploring these concepts as they apply to issues with which you may be struggling, contact the Chrysalis Center at 910-790-9500 and schedule an intake with one of our clinicians.


Anger in its’ proper form is a healthy emotion despite all of the bad press it has been getting. Healthy anger helps to mobilize our internal resources in order to respond to external threats and injustices. The key term in that statement is “healthy.” Many however struggle to determine what constitutes healthy anger and how to properly express it or manage it.

In order to better understand anger, we need to first know where anger comes from. From the perspective of Cognitive Therapy, anger occurs when we perceive a violation to our Personal Domain. Our Personal Domain consists of our values, our rules about the world, our needs, our wants and our expectations of others. Our physical being is also an element of our Personal Domain. An example of how anger is triggered from this perspective might be the anger most of us feel when a child or some innocent person is terribly harmed. For many of us, when we see a news story depicting someone being unjustifiably harmed-we become angry. We were not personally harmed, yet we still feel angry. The reason is because our value or our rule about the world that innocent people should not be harmed was violated. In order to determine if we are experiencing healthy anger, we need to evaluate our anger using the following criteria:

Are you making something out of nothing?

1. What did we “perceive” to have happened? We need to determine what did we see or “perceive” to have happened. We need to determine if what we “think” occurred actually did occur as we saw it by reviewing facts or using sound logic. If our perception is supported by facts or sound logic-then we are probably experiencing healthy anger.

2. What aspect of our Personal Domain was violated. We need to determine what value, rule, need, want or expectation was not met. Once we are able to identify this, we need to evaluate if this element of our Personal Domain is reasonable. Just because we feel things “should” be a certain way, does not mean is has to be that way. Objectively, if we are able to determine that our value, rule… is valid-then we are experiencing healthy anger.

Are you making a mountain out of a molehill?

1. Does the severity of our anger equal the situation that occurred? Now that we have determined that our anger is justified, we now need to make sure the level of anger we are feeling is equal to the situation. We need to make sure that our anger does not supersede what occurred. If our anger is proportional to the situation-then we are experiencing healthy anger.

Healthy anger consists of ensuring that you are “not making something out of nothing” and “not making a mountain out of a molehill.” Now, if you are reasonably able to determine that you are experiencing healthy anger, there is still one very important final step. You still need to express your anger in a healthy and productive manner that helps to resolve whatever issues triggered your anger in the first place. Healthy anger also warrants a healthy expression.

If you are interested in learning more about healthy anger and how to manage anger in a healthy manner, please feel free to contact our clinic and schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians.


Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States. Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill.  More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services.  People tend to seek relief for anxiety symptoms that are often confused as medical illnesses.  People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.

Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors that includes genetics, personality, and life events.  However, not all anxiety is unhealthy or necessarily problematic.  Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. You might feel anxious when faced with a problem at work, before taking a test, or when facing an important decision.  This type of anxiety is a natural response to life’s demands and challenges.  Anxiety is the body’s attempt to mobilize our internal resources to meet these demands and challenges.  Anxiety Disorders however involve more than temporary worry or fear. For a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not quickly go away and can worsen over time. Anxiety is considered problematic when it begins to regularly interfere with daily activities, job or school performance or relationships.

Anxiety Disorders

There are several types of anxiety disorders. Some common examples include Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and Simple Phobias.

People with Generalized Anxiety Disorder tend to experience recurrent worry about a great variety of stressors which may change often.  Symptoms include restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, difficulty controlling your worry and sleep problems-such as difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.

Panic Disorder is characterized by recurrent unexpected panic attacks, which are sudden and repeated attacks of intense fear.  These attacks may include heart palpitations,accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, feeling smothered or choking and feelings of impending doom.  People who suffer from Panic Disorder also tend to have recurrent worries about future panic attacks. Those who suffer from Panic Disorder may often avoid places where panic attacks have occurred in the past and may often isolate.

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia is characterized by a severe fear of social situations where an individual fears being embarrassed, judged, or rejected.  Individuals who suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder feel highly self-conscious and often avoid public settings where there are other people. Many may feel flush, begin sweating or tremble when around other people.  They may feeling nauseous or sick to their stomach when other people are around as well.

Simple Phobias are a persistent, irrational fear of an object or situation coupled with a strong urge to avoid that object or situation.  The person with a specific phobia will react with significant anxiety when they face the fearful stimuli. Simple phobias can include a fear of animals, insects or even heights.  However, any object or situation can be at the center of a phobia.


Anxiety disorders are typically treated with psychotherapy, medications or both.

Psychotherapy or counseling is “talk therapy.”  These treatment services may be in individual or group format.  Talk therapy focuses upon examining a person’s experiences with anxiety, identifying underlying causes and creating solutions to overcome one’s anxiety.

The most common therapy approach for Anxiety Disorders is a combination of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Graded Exposure Therapy and Medications.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses upon identifying underlying thoughts and beliefs that are associated with the anxious feelings that are experienced.  Anxiety tends to be associated with an underlying fear about a particular situation, object or circumstance.  Once these underlying fearful thoughts are identified, therapy then focuses on challenging the accuracy and rationality of these thoughts.  Most Anxiety Disorders are based upon unrealistic or irrational fears.  Overcoming an Anxiety Disorder occurs when a person is able to change the thoughts and beliefs that are creating their anxiety.  CBT is typically brief with significant improvement in 12 to 20 treatment sessions.  CBT is a highly effective short-term treatment with research finding that over 60% will experience significant improvement.

Graded Exposure Therapy is another highly effective treatment approach for anxiety.  Graded Exposure Therapy consists of identifying the specific triggering situation, object or circumstance associated with the individual’s anxiety.  Once this is identified, what is feared is broken down into smaller, lesser intimidating or fearful steps.  The individual then faces each step in a slow, but progressive manner until they report no longer experiencing anxiety at that step.  Anxiety is overcome when the individual has successfully completed all of the prescribed steps of their Graded Exposure plan.

Medications are often prescribed to assist in treating Anxiety Disorders.  However, medications are used to manage anxiety symptoms-not cure the Anxiety Disorder.  There are several types of medications available to treat anxiety.  Medication regimens used to treat Anxiety Disorders must be prescribed by a medical professional such as a Physician or a Psychiatrist.  One should take care when using certain types of medications since many have a high addictive potential if used over a long period of time.  Medications can be a helpful addition to the treatment of anxiety, but research has shown that the most effective course of treatment is Psychotherapy and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  Up to 50% of people who use medication experience some symptom relief.  Reduction of symptoms is generally moderate with the average improvement rate between 20% and 40%.

If you feel that you are suffering from an Anxiety Disorder, feel free to contact The Chrysalis Center to schedule an assessment with one of our licensed staff.

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